μ's Badminton Matches
by NozomumPrincessPana
Summary: μ's decide to play badminton. Things spiral out of control from there.


A stupid little idea me and Princess Pana came up with whilst yelling at each other across the badminton courts. Enjoy c: 

The whole of μ's had decided to play a few matches of badminton in order to relax for a bit, yet still remain in a slight exercise regimen. At least, that was how they told it to Umi anyway. Everyone simply intended for it to be a simple scrap around, a humorous mess of the sport (which would undoubtedly not fail to annoy Umi's strict tendencies).

They'd all gotten into their tracksuits and grabbed a racket each, although it was unfortunate the school only had one court available at the time, so it would be difficult to play a tournament mode if they'd wanted to. But they would make the best of the situation and play anyway. No one would bother them anyway, it was an inside area.

They were in a constant rotation, first up with Honoka vs. Kotori. It didn't surprise the rest of the members that Kotori had won, with Honoka's constant flailing, exasperated shouting and fumbling her racket when it came to shots that came back too fast for her liking. Second was Nico vs. Maki. It was expected to be a clean sweep from Maki, but Nico was returning all of her shots; all the while Maki was getting more and more agitated. Nico came out the winner, much to the rest of μ's surprise.

"What? Super Idol Nico-nii can't be bad at badminton, can she?"

"What are you on about? I don't get you…" Maki's flustered reply as more of a mutter under her breath as she shuffled back in shame towards the wall behind the back boundary line. Beaten by Nico. And at a sport no less. Rin patted her head to try to cheer her up.

Thirdly, it was Nozomi vs. Eli. The expectation was disgusting flirting and a fun little knock-about match from the two of them. But they could not have been more wrong, as they watched Eli whimper as vicious shots came flying back over the net no matter how far she made Nozomi run to the back or front halves of the court, Eli struggled to score any points.

Eli then began to degrade into a cycle of over exaggerated poses and shouts, which elicited a few laughs out of Rin, Hanayo and Honoka, with the occasional giggle from Kotori. Nico was holding back her laughter, not wanting to admit it was funny at all. Nozomi remained unaffected and Eli simply huffed and went back to trying to play seriously.

As one shot one directly towards her face, she instinctively brought the racket out in front of her and somehow managed to hit it back as she yelled, "DERR'MO!" ("Shit!")

When she didn't hear the tell-tale thwack of the shuttle being hit back, she opened her eyes only to see Nozomi on the other side, slightly red in the face and with the shuttle off behind her to her right.

"Ehm… Nozomi?"

"Eh?" Nozomi shook her head quickly and then went over to go and pick up the shuttle, "Ah, just a fumble!"

"It happens to the best of us." Eli replied with a smirk. She'd pinpointed Nozomi's weakness and now it was time to exploit it. If she was losing 16-3 then she had no problem with playing dirty, especially if it was so easy to her. Nozomi's weakness was Russian. Deep, powerful Russian. She had no problem with that.

Eli served and she noticed Nozomi's hit back had become shaky and with less intensity. Eli decided that there would be no mercy.

"PO'SHYOL 'NA HUI!" ("Fuck off!") Another fumble, another serve.

"ETO PIZ 'DETS!" ("This is fucked up!") And again. This time, Nozomi managed to hit back a few more times. Eli frowned, knowing she was losing her grip on the situation and on her dirty trick.

"TY CHE, BLYAD?!" ("What the fuck!?") That did it. Nozomi fumbled her racket again.

"Elicchi, stop it! The children are present!" Everyone else just looked confused. But Nozomi knew. She was multilingual after all.

"What they don't know can't hurt them." She winked at her, sending Nozomi into another deep flush. Nozomi hadn't been getting out of breath or lethargic in the rest of the match, but now she certainly seemed to be having some kind of physical change reflected on her.

The game continued once more, but Eli's swears were losing their momentum and Nozomi was slowly pulling her points back. Eli's tactics had to change. And they'd change in the best (worst – for Nozomi anyway) way possible.

"UBLYUDOK PIZ'DA 'SUKA!" ("Motherfucking cunt bitch!" How tact.) Nozomi faltered, but kept on in her powerful stride, refusing to be deterred.

"YA TRAKHAL TVOYU MAT!" ("I fucked your mother!") The shuttle hit Nozomi right on her forehead and she stumbled slightly, despite it being such a harmlessly soft impact. She managed to grasp the shuttle before it fell to the floor and she glared at Eli, who put her hands behind her back and rocked on one foot, looking up at the ceiling innocently, despite the fact the words spewed from her mouth were the exact opposite of that.

"You're never even met my mother!"

"Well, how do you know Nozomi?" Her shit-eating grin and the wiggle of her eyebrows was far too much for Nozomi, but she couldn't give up now. The two of them were pretty much neck and neck at 19-19. She took a deep breath and then served again. The two volleyed their shots until Eli grew tired (literally and figuratively) of the current game and yelled,

"TY MOYA SUKA!" ("You're my bitch!") Nozomi's boundaries finally broke and she dropped her racket and dropped to the ground, hunched over and face buried in her arms.

"Is Nozomi-chan okay?"

"I don't think so Rin." Maki sighed and shook her head at the mess in front of her. At least it took attention away from her earlier failure.

"Hanayo-chan…" Nozomi murmured through her embarrassment. "Hanayo-chan, come over here…"

Not one to disobey her upperclassman, Hanayo approached Nozomi and knelt down next to her. Nozomi straightened up slightly, an obvious blush still written across her face she whispered only between her and Hanayo.

"Hanayo-chan… Do you remember what Nozomi-sensei taught you?"

"Yes Nozomi-chan."

"Good… Now in the name of all that is good and spiritual…" She took in an intake of breath and looked Hanayo dead in the eye, "Go and kick Elicchi's smug ass."

Eli twirled her racket in her hands whilst she waited for the exchange to finish, and to her surprise, Hanayo straightened up, racket in hand, as Nozomi shambled off of the court and slumped down with her back to the wall so she could watch the match. Everyone decided to leave her be before shifting their attention back to Hanayo and Eli's apparent match-up. There was no way Hanayo could beat Eli, even if Eli was pretty terrible compared to Nozomi, right?

"Eli-chan, I'll be facing you next, okay?"

Eli merely nodded as Hanayo fetched the shuttle that had laid there since Eli's apparent Russian episode.

To everyone's amazement, Hanayo's shot came back thick and fast, just as vicious and just as well paced and aimed as Nozomi's. The points piled up in Hanayo's favour and Eli's situation worsened with every serve and every missed opportunity. Her excuse was that she'd just played a lengthy match with Nozomi, in which she'd shouted her lungs out.

"T-ty che, blyad…" ("Wh-what the fuck...") Eli muttered as one particular shot just grazed her head and she went to grab it. Just then she had an idea and grinned. She'd played dirty against Nozomi; she could play dirty against Hanayo. Hanayo's weakness was obvious. Her favourite thing in the whole world. No, not Rin.

"Hanayo-chan!" She hit back shots and continued to speak through them, "If you forfeit now…!" Another thwack through the air, "I'll buy you a month's supply of rice!"

She shuttle didn't meet Hanayo's racket, but rather Eli saw her drop her racket with a clatter, accompanied by an instantaneous, "I forfeit."

"… Really?" Was all Nozomi could manage, still on the floor. "Hanayo-chan, how could you betray your sensei?"

"I'm sorry Nozomi-chan… But… Rice…"

"You are no longer my pupil. I am deeply ashamed I took you under my wing."

Hanayo hung her head slightly, but Rin quickly uplifted her spirits by patting her on the head. It seemed to work with Maki, so she thought it would work with Hanayo. And she would be right.

Eli started to twirl her racket again smugly. She hadn't even won gracefully. She'd just used cheap and dirty tricks and yet she was still proud of herself. Nozomi debated giving up, before she sat slightly and grabbed Umi's wrist from where she was sat.

"Umi-chan."

"E-eh?"

"You're our only hope. End Elicchi's tyrannical reign. Please."

Umi faltered for a moment, tensing up. What would Eli do to her? She'd found both of her previous opponents weaknesses and played both of them up. She steeled herself and exhaled deeply. She just had to not show any weakness, that was all. Unfortunately for her, Eli already knew it.

She stepped into the court behind the service line and picked up the same shuttle that had been so cruelly left alone by the last two players. Nozomi leant against the wall. Umi was a tough one to break if you didn't use the right tactics.

The game began and Umi was just as skilled as Nozomi and Hanayo without the viciousness. She knew the areas where Eli would struggle to reach in time and it was difficult to tire her out, as every single person in μ's knew. But Eli had an idea in mind. She failed to take the repercussions though into consideration, however.

Kotori was stood behind the back boundary side on the corner of the court, where she thought she would be out of the way of Eli's rather sporadic and spread out shots. Eli then began to curb her shots towards Kotori, making Umi run to try to protect her from any shots that may 'accidentally' hit her.

As the shots continued to veer, Eli grew more determined. This was the only way to exploit Umi's weakness whilst she was playing. She kept hitting the shots back, only failing a few times. Then, her persistence paid off. Umi failed to receive one particular shot and the shuttle hit Kotori right above her eye on her forehead. Umi turned and Eli could feel the aura of pure, burning anger.

If looks could kill, Eli would be dead a thousand times over by now.

It was by now, Eli realised how huge of a mistake she'd made and she decided the best course of action at this point would be to grovel and apologise.

"I didn't mean to, I'm sor-"

Umi's grip on the racket left her knuckles white and the handle ready to break at any moment, and she threw it aside, letting it skid across the court and hit the wall with a resounding clang of the hollow metal and she bolted straight for Eli.

It was at this moment, she yelled and dropped her racket with a loud, "B'LYAD" ("FUCK!") and she turned to run. But before she did, she caught Nozomi's smirk from the other side of the court. She could only focus on one current emotion right now: fear.

"BOHZE MOY!" ("OH MY GOD") she screamed as she made a beeline for the (thankfully non-alarmed) fire exit into the school grounds, with Umi hot on her trail and the rest of the group stood in silence as the door gusted in a vengeful wind, as if summoned by Umi herself the moment her anger had risen.

Nozomi was the first to snap out of the trance left from Eli and Umi's wake and she calmly stood up and sauntered over to the agape exit, closing it calmly and then picking up Eli's discarded racket, with a gentle, motherly smile on her face.

"So whose match is next?"

 **Author's Note:**

Right so, I hope you enjoyed this stupid thing I wrote within one evening. It was amazing. I have no regrets.

In regards to the Russian, I didn't know whether to leave it untranslated or translated. And even then, I really am terrible with foreign languages. I did Spanish for about 3 years (not voluntarily I might add) then dropped it. But continuing with the Russian, I just used Google Translate (I know, I'm terrible...) and a couple of other websites that looked like they knew what they were doing?  
So if the Russian isn't dead on, I'm sorry, but I translated it anyway so you guys wouldn't have to go out of your way to look everything up.

Whatever, I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review, I really would like feedback on this!


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